My Life Changed the Day I Quit Gambling

When I made the greatest change of my life in December 2020, everything improved. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, professionally, and socially. Most importantly, I regained my identity and a grasp on my own mental health.

Hi. My name is Mike, and I am a problem gambler. I have been bet-free since December 2020. As I write this, it's Day 1,125 bet-free for me. And yes, I still count each day. One day at a time is more than a motto — it's a way of life.

I felt as if I hid my addiction well. I maintained a career, family, friends, and a positive external persona. But I was sick on the inside. My life was consumed by gambling. When my daughter was with me, I was present. When she wasn't, I was either gambling or planning my next gamble.

I come from a family of gamblers. I was born in Las Vegas, with some of my earliest memories in casino arcades while my family gambled. I started placing bets in Keno parlors at 14, playing bingo at 16, and gambling illegally in casinos before I was of age. I knew I didn't want this life — but creating a better one is easier said than done when you're unsure what 'better' even looks like.

Then 2020 came along

For years I dreamed of running my own business. In 2017 that came true when I turned freelance marketing work into a full-time business. But in 2020, events were cancelled and clients cut their budgets. Everything I'd spent three years building disappeared within a week.

I was bitter, angry, and scared. So I turned to the only thing that had been familiar for 25 years. The gambling spiralled further out of control. Even when most places were shut down, I found ways to keep going. By that summer, I knew I needed help. I called a problem gambling helpline, but the counsellors they referred me to couldn't take new clients. So I kept gambling.

December 14, 2020 — the last day I made a bet

I didn't have a proverbial 'rock bottom,' but I hit my emotional rock bottom that day. I might not have been financially bankrupt, but I was emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. On December 15, 2020, I started treatment for disordered gambling.

Treatment was intense — three individual and group sessions a week, daily contact with counsellors, and a lot of assignments. There were sessions where I laughed, cried, and yelled all at once. But taking things day by day, my thinking became clearer.

Recovery gave me back more than I lost

My new way of life has given back to me in ways I never imagined. I went on to work at the place that helped me discover recovery, sharing my story and connecting others with resources. I trained as a Certified Disordered Gambling Counsellor and a Certified Peer Support Specialist. My goal is to keep helping others avoid the pain I endured.

The best answer I can give for why it finally worked is this: I admitted I was powerless over my gambling, and that my life had become unmanageable. My old ways of coping weren't working, so I had to try something new — and I was finally ready to work my butt off and make recovery happen.

I now know that by changing my life, I can help others change theirs as well.— Mike Sciandra

If you or someone you know is struggling with gambling, please reach out for help. In the United States you can call 1-800-GAMBLER. Support is confidential, and asking for it is not a last resort — it's the first step.